I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
