That's when you crack a 10am beer
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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