I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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