hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
