So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I wish you could order shots online.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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