I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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