so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My dick has a subreddit
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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