well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
