found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Randomize
