the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
