Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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