Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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