Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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