mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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