Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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