he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
