Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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