Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
