I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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