I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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