i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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