Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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