Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
