i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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