we have officially lost it.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
