do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize