My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
