like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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