Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
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