quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
