the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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