its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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