you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
