K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
