Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
