My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
