Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
