perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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