You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
we should paint friendship bongs
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