I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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