no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
there is glitter all over my balls
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
