i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
