you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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