I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
