I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
