I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize