So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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