he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize