five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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