this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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