Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You need Xanax blowdarts
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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