But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
