I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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