Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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