only if we run a train.
done.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
