shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
how does that bad decision feel?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
