apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
whose ass print is on the piano?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
