Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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