it wasn't lemon gatorade
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
