Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
