garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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