At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
