i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
